Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Three Things You're Doing Wrong

I've done a lot of things wrong in my lifetime. I don't mean wrong in the conventional sense, but rather, I've wasted a lot of time spinning my wheels. I'm talking like, a shit ton of rubber burnin', time suckin', wheel spinnin'. So what have I earned for all this self-induced pain and stress? For starters, a Ph D in the art of self-analysis and the eternal pursuit of identifying one's life purpose. And for seconds, dessert and fifth meal, I've learned these three lessons that pretty much apply to you, me, yo' Momma, your brother, your best friend's brother and your dog. Scratch that dog part, he's probably got this shit figured out.

1. You're comparing yourself to other people way too freakin' much. 

Ever have this happen? You're going about your day, doing your thang, you're feeling alright... hell, you might even be having a great day, when BING-BANG-KA-POW! you see somebody post a Facebook status about how they're saving orphans in a third world country, while working on their start-up non-profit and oh yea, this weekend they spent a few hours scaling the mountains of Picachu that up until now have never been explored by modern man. Phhhffffft. That's the sound of your sails, your ego and your mojo deflating.

Life is not a competition. And if you insist on looking at it as such, you're going to be a hamster on a wheel chasing someone else's dream day-in and day-out without any real idea what you're working towards. Believe me and my incredibly sore legs. If you're an aggressive, masochist (not that I'm speaking from experience or anything), then might I suggest a little flip of the switch, if it's gotta be a competition, treat it as one with yourself and no one else. What are you going to do today that scares you? Gets you closer to your goal? Moves you? Stretches you? Pushes you towards that precipice you've only been brave enough to tip toe around until now. Forget everyone else, clear them out of your head and determine what you need to roll in to your grave feeling supremely, bad-assedly content without anyone else's standards imposed upon you.

That is what you need to focus on. Not that perfect bitch who is saving dolphins, or were they babies? Quit putting your energy where it doesn't belong and take it from someone much wiser than myself, Teddy says it best:

2. You're letting a past choice mess with - or worse - dictate your present (which also screws with your future, btw). 

I said I've screwed up a bunch, right? I'm a pro on this one. So you made some bad choices, you did some stupid shit, you may have even really hurt some other people, or worst of all, you may have really disappointed yourself in epic ways. It happens. Life is messy and it sure as shit isn't easy. And you know what, I'm not even a believer that life is beautiful, but there are parts of life that are really unbelievably rad - and yes - beautiful.

Here's my favorite one: every single second you get to reinvent your life. Every... single... second... zzzziiiip there goes another one, zzzzzinng here comes another one! You get to make choice after choice after choice and reinvent your story more times than the one and only, Madge (that's Madonna for those of you not in the know). A simple and powerful truth you've got to force yourself to actively practice is this: your past does not dictate your present and it does not hold power over your future but that is ONLY and I stress ONLY IF you make the conscious choice to kick your past in to the rear view mirror and leave it there.

Learn what you were meant to learn, don't be a glutton for pain, and move the fuck* on. You keep dragging it forward it's going to repeat itself in your here, now and future. And you deserve a life that's a hell of a lot better than some nagging backseat driver who can't handle you taking the turns with the windows down and the radio up.

3. You're not happy enough. Worse yet, you think unhappiness is normal.

John knew it and so does the Dalai Lama, what the hell is the point of being here at all and exerting all of this energy if we're miserable as fuck?**

 How many conversations do you have that go something like this: 

"How was your day?"
"Eh... you know... it was... okay. Another day, another dollar."  

What if this was your LAST day? What if this was your LAST day and you didn't know it and THAT was how you spent it? Seriously, that would supremely suck balls. 

So many of us are moving through our days doing what we think we need to do, or what we should do, and most of us are doing it for seemingly good reasons: our family, stability, security, healthcare, a nice house, a better car.... but what does it all amount to? 

I'll tell you what it amounted to for me: a life of sleepwalking, half-living, working for the weekend and those short doses where I got to "escape" real life in exchange for the vacation I worked so hard for to enjoy "the good life" for a week. Then I went home and did it all over again... and again... and again... for years. This is absolute madness. And it's depressing as fuck.***

There's gotta be a better way.

Guess what? There is.  You've got to find whatever the hell it is you can't go a day without thinking about, doing, reading about, learning about, fixating on and find a way to make that thing your job. I know that's a major simplification. But that truly is the moral of the story. 

You might have to walk away from your bangin' wardrobe, your overflowing house and "downgrade" for the sake of your new pursuit, but none of that stuff is making you happy anyway. Not beyond a temporary fix, anyway. George is going to take it home for me now because I've got some living to do. 

Go out there and get yours!

Signing off for now... 


Ps - if you liked this post, I'd love if you would pass it along and share with some friends. 

And, I'd love to hear your thoughts on the topic... for real, I'd love to hear your comments and you can bet I'll answer every one of them. 

*sorry, that one required aggressive language.
**my bad, that one needed some, too. 
***consider it a trifecta.